Thank the Lord Baby Jesus for Bailers

Today I got the some delightful news- Patricia's terrible attitude and lack of will to continue her bike trip across Canada brought her home!!! She bailed. YAY! Although I am sad I will not be receiving postcards from every province, I am happy to have someone in my life who I can abuse and not run the risk of legal implications.

I have not seen my hag-friend yet, although I suspect she looks like some medium-rare meat.

What I suspect Patricia looks like

She didn't make it all the way across Canada, so I doubt she looks like an overcooked goat. However the amount of time she spent outside most likely resulted in her looking like an undercooked cow.

Despite Patricia's unattractiveness, and lack of perseverance I would like to congratulate her for making it as far as she did across Canada without dying. I had suspected that Chris would abuse her, she would run out of food and she would end up on the side of the road being eaten by her fellow goat colony. Making it to Regina on a bike is impressive- especially when you do it with a bag on your head to shield passers-by from your face.

On another note, I would like to advise everyone not to spend $4 on a frappe latte of any flavour from TCBY. They're not worth it. Only do it if you have a two-for-one coupon and a friend to share it with. The friend makes up for the unimpressive beverage.

That is all.

Great Minds Think Alike

Today I received another postcard from Patricia. 

Postcard from Patricia

I thought this was funny for a number of reasons:
1. Patricia managed to get her picture on a postcard.
2. Patricia chose to send me this postcard a full 5 days before I started a blog dedicated to informing the world  
    she is an illiterate, heinous looking goat- apparently we think alike
3. Patricia said she chose this postcard because "I (Natalie) look like a goat and smell like one too."

Even from across the country one of my best good (and most unattractive) friends makes me laugh.

I love you Patricia!!! I hope your sunburn is improving your appearance!!

Congratulations Patricia

I would like to congratulate Patricia on hoodwinking yet another educational institution into accepting her to one of their programs. Humber College is the new sucker, as she will be working (I use that term lightly) through the Public Relations program.

Congratulations Patricia in hiding your illiteracy yet again! I'm so happy and proud of you! Hopefully Humber won't figure out that you're illiterate and ugly and ban you from campus.

This is what Humber Accepted

Let Patricia's miracle acceptance remind you that anything is possible (even if you're ugly).

That is all.

Shout Out to a Biffle

Just a quick shout out to my exercise partner for giving me diabetes (and a Rolo Sundae). It was delightful. Shauna wants to know why it wasn't a mint sundae.

Thanks Again Nugget Buddy!!

 

Patrcia's face looks like a regurgitated Rolo Sundae. That is all. 

Ninja Goat

Here is photo from Patricia's cross-Canada adventures. As you can see, Patricia is attempting to escape Chris' abuse. Not only does he not feed her, but he doesn't allow her to shower (hence Patricia's body beard). Patricia writes on her blog "After about 30km we stopped in Strathmore for lunch, and to get some groceries. Chris went into Sobeys while I waited for the bike, and when he came back we had a delicious lunch consisting of turkey and havarti cheese sandwiches, fruitopia, and some fruit". What she fails to mention is Chris did not share his delicious sandwich- hence the ninja jail break.

Patricia's attempt at escape

Today, I think it is important that we all wish Patricia luck in future escape attempts. The ugly do not deserve to starve (at least in this case).

That is all.

Upgrades to the Parking Department

Hello Everyone,

Today I would like to highlight some of the upgrades the Parking Department has made. Not only has the department been working on upgrading its system, the office has upgraded its staff. The office has replaced Patricia with a much more attractive individual to work at the front counter. The face of parking has improved!! Shauna is a second year political science student with ginger hair (we won't hold that against her). She enjoys stalking people and yelling.You can see her here:

L: Patricia R: Shauna

   

I would also like to point out that Patricia has lost her mind, and how requires enormous road signs to remind her what her name is. I attribute (some) of Patricia's insanity to the fact that Chris is not feeding her, and abusing her incorrectly...Chris doesn't have the same skills as I do. So if you're worried about Patricia, send her a can of beans and a baseball bat.

The results of starvation and abuse

I miss Heinous Face, and hopes she picks up the pace and gets home soon.

That is all.

In a Disguise- Still Not the Ugliest

Parking Services Win.

From Left to Right: Natalie, Bird, Jessie, Heinous Face