Patricia Is Confusing Homesickness with Hunger Pains (what a dork)

Hello all,


Yesterday I received a message from the unattractive Patricia declaring she is homesick. I think its important that Patricia is fed- although I would love if she came home looking like an overcooked, anorexic goat. She is now using homesickness to cover the fact that her boyfriend Chris is refusing to feed her. The only reason Patricia is homesick is because she misses the food. 


Also, Patricia has told me to " back off [her] boyfriend biatch, I know he is more attractive then I am, thats why I'm with him (duh!!)". I would like to clarify this statement. Chris is with Patricia because he needed a slave to peddle on the back of a bike. Patricia is with Chris because her life goal is not to end up as an ugly hag. (She'll just be ugyl). I guess you could think of their relationship as a symbiotic one, although I don't know if dating Patricia Heinous Face Noyes is worth a little bike ride across Canada and a lifetime of eye pain. 


Here is my interpretation of Chris and Patricia: 

Chris and Patricia on their wedding day

Please note, I am not trying to steal Patty's boyfriend in any way. I simply chose the smokeshow Armie Hammer to portray  Chris to highlight the monstrosity that is Patricia. 


That is all.